This blog series focuses on my own experiences as an athlete who has battled multiple bouts of depression. My experiences help me help others of any age who may suffer from similar issues. While no two athletes have the same experience, it can be beneficial to know that there are some commonalities that can create a sense of universality.

How a College Athlete Dealt with Burnout During the Pandemic

By Chris Burgenson

This year will mark five years since the COVID pandemic hit. To me, it is unfathomable that the world looked completely different five years ago. I remember how naïve I was thinking that everything would be over in weeks or a month. It just so happened to fall during my last year as an undergraduate.

There were many mental challenges that I had faced during this time. The uncertainty of when things would go back to normal (assuming things would get back to normal) made navigating the pandemic a huge challenge. But it also taught me some lessons that I still use to this day.

After overcoming depression earlier in my undergrad years (link to blog 1), I felt like I finally had the tools to overcome any kind of adversity. The next couple of semesters of college felt much easier compared to my first year. However, I had no idea what was coming up in the semesters ahead: another low point in my life.

Expecting the Best

The year was 2020. It was my final year as a collegiate athlete. At this point, I was experiencing academic as well as athletic success. This is when we first started hearing about covid and its effects on people. I remember thinking in the beginning, “this won’t be a big deal. I remember the Ebola and Zika outbreaks. This is nothing.”

Boy, was I wrong. Indoor track ends and outdoor track was going to start in a few weeks. Or so I thought. I remember thinking, “After spring break, this is when I will finally get to show the hard work that I have been putting in so I can have a great final season.”

That was until I saw an e-mail coming from the university president saying that the remainder of the semester was going to be virtual. I remember the immense sadness that followed. I struggle with online school. I would much prefer to be in a classroom with a professor. And then I saw the e-mail coming from our athletic director saying that all spring sports were cancelled for the season. I remember thinking, “All of this! For nothing!” I sat in my room sobbing because the world was shutting down. And there was nothing I could do about it.

Whatever…

About a month into the pandemic, I was a completely different person. My performance in school was starting to slip, I would not run as much as I usually would, and I just felt miserable. All I could think was, “I don’t care.” I felt so burnt out from hearing news about how the world is shutting down without any end in sight.

Eventually, I finished the semester, and I was finally done with my undergraduate degree, but there was no sensation of happiness. It was more of a sensation of relief. At one point, I heard that seniors would get back the season that they had just lost and compete during graduate school. It sounded enticing, but it was a whole year away. I wondered about how I could balance grad school and be an athlete at the same time. Would I still want to compete? How was I going to train by myself for such a long time?

Burnt out, then bouncing back

It was summer. Obviously, we couldn’t go anywhere for vacation. All I could do was run. It gave me a lot of time to build my aerobic base to get ready for the season that may or may not happen next year. Training was going well until early July, when my motivation started to drop.

I would get in my head wondering when the world would open back up. I was constantly checking the news to see if there was any kind of updates about a vaccine. Time and time again, I didn’t hear about any definitive progress. All of this was taking a toll on my mental health and I had to take a break from running. So I decided to stop running and stop looking at the news for about two weeks, and let my mind reset. I did not care about how fit I was at that point. I just wanted to feel good again.

After I took my break, I resumed training. My body felt refreshed and my mind felt sharper. I cut down on the amount of COVID content I was watching. I felt more focused on what I needed to do, and I started to accept that progress was being made with a vaccine.

2021 came around, and I was in the best shape of my life. All the training I did over the summer, fall, and winter had gotten me to where I needed to be, although I was still nervous about a couple things. We still had to wear masks during meets — we could only take them off when we were running but had to immediately put them back on when we were not competing. Before a meet, we had to get a COVID test. They were the tests where it felt like my brain was being poked by a stick. It was tough to not cry walking out of the testing center.

But I felt ready to compete, and I did so to the best of my ability without being bogged down by excessive worry. I had a very successful season and managed to set the school record for the 3,000 meter steeplechase race. All of my hard work and patience did pay off. It will always go down as the greatest season of my track career. Most important, I could not have been happier in my life.

Lessons Learned That May Help You

• Just because there was a point in your life when you were at your lowest, it doesn’t mean that it cannot happen again. However, you have the tools you did not have last time.
• While hearing that important events might need to wait a long time, your patience will be rewarded. The only true way it won’t be rewarded is if you quit.
• Optimism keeps you going. Pessimism can lead to giving up.
• Try to find peace in whatever situation you are in. Even in the ugliest of situations, finding peace can do wonders for your mental health.
• Taking a break can be beneficial. It allows your body and mind to rest and reset. Once you are ready, you will come back even stronger than before. Think two steps back, but five steps forward.

Until next time.